Sorry for being late with this "review" but sometimes you have to step out of your nerd cave to make that money to pay those popcorn bills and fund those gamestop purchases :)
So- TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES....deemed 'rotten' on Rotten Tomatoes and pretty much called 'horrible'. That was not easy to leave at the door when going in for a viewing but I tried and what I found was MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. It isn't terrible but it isn't good. It's a weird dichotomy here because the problems are reminiscent of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It just doesn't know if it wants to be Nickelodeon Turtles or Eastman and Laird Turtles. It tries to marry kids film with mature elements but albeit unsuccessfully. One moment you got the turtles goofing with each other getting stuck in a sewer hole and the next moment you have turtles being tortured like Uma Thurman's training sessions in KILL BILL. You get a great light daytime chase scene with lots of turtle power and then a gratuitous ass shot of Megan Fox. So who is the target audience ? kids ? teens ? longtime TMNT fans ?
The film starts with a comic book style montage that clearly pays homage to the original Eastman and Laird books and continues on a BATMAN BEGINS toned path before shifting hard into stupid human tricks beautifully done by Will Arnett and Whoopi Goldberg. Both of whom I love as performers but were given nothing in terms of quality dialogue or a purpose to even being in the film. They may as well cast actors we never heard of. Then the beautiful limited Megan Fox who is reduced to a sex object and someone who does a lot of hiding and staring. I thought April O'Neill was supposed to be hard nosed and feisty ? Sprinkle that with a NON STOP BARRAGE of being hit on by Arnett and Donotello...by the end of the movie when Arnett tricks April into meeting him under an overpass for yet another attempt to hit on her, you are pretty much ready to throw popcorn at this 'date rapey' situation until the turtles show up and Donotello chimes in his close to 'rapey' come ons. It wants to cute and innocent but it really comes of creepy after so many trips to the well.
THE GOOD?
Splinter fighting Shredder
The Turtles fighting Shredder
When the credits finally roll signifying the end of the film.
This is a tough one because I say see it at least once. Maybe a matinee or wait for Netflix. But I also say don't expect much. DECENT- I'll give it a rating of DECENT...it won't make you vomit.
At best 2 NERDBURGERS and half a side of fries. Fingers crossed the sequel gets rid of the "everyone wants to bang April" vibe and gets to concentrating on the damn Turtles.
So- TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES....deemed 'rotten' on Rotten Tomatoes and pretty much called 'horrible'. That was not easy to leave at the door when going in for a viewing but I tried and what I found was MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. It isn't terrible but it isn't good. It's a weird dichotomy here because the problems are reminiscent of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It just doesn't know if it wants to be Nickelodeon Turtles or Eastman and Laird Turtles. It tries to marry kids film with mature elements but albeit unsuccessfully. One moment you got the turtles goofing with each other getting stuck in a sewer hole and the next moment you have turtles being tortured like Uma Thurman's training sessions in KILL BILL. You get a great light daytime chase scene with lots of turtle power and then a gratuitous ass shot of Megan Fox. So who is the target audience ? kids ? teens ? longtime TMNT fans ?
The film starts with a comic book style montage that clearly pays homage to the original Eastman and Laird books and continues on a BATMAN BEGINS toned path before shifting hard into stupid human tricks beautifully done by Will Arnett and Whoopi Goldberg. Both of whom I love as performers but were given nothing in terms of quality dialogue or a purpose to even being in the film. They may as well cast actors we never heard of. Then the beautiful limited Megan Fox who is reduced to a sex object and someone who does a lot of hiding and staring. I thought April O'Neill was supposed to be hard nosed and feisty ? Sprinkle that with a NON STOP BARRAGE of being hit on by Arnett and Donotello...by the end of the movie when Arnett tricks April into meeting him under an overpass for yet another attempt to hit on her, you are pretty much ready to throw popcorn at this 'date rapey' situation until the turtles show up and Donotello chimes in his close to 'rapey' come ons. It wants to cute and innocent but it really comes of creepy after so many trips to the well.
THE GOOD?
Splinter fighting Shredder
The Turtles fighting Shredder
When the credits finally roll signifying the end of the film.
This is a tough one because I say see it at least once. Maybe a matinee or wait for Netflix. But I also say don't expect much. DECENT- I'll give it a rating of DECENT...it won't make you vomit.
At best 2 NERDBURGERS and half a side of fries. Fingers crossed the sequel gets rid of the "everyone wants to bang April" vibe and gets to concentrating on the damn Turtles.